Stop Falling
by exoduselita
Summary: "Optimus I'm not looking for a steady thing. I'm not looking for what love brings. I'm still young and I'm not ready. Don't assume because I'm a femme that I'll fall in love. You've got to understand my side I've had a crazy life,Nobody came along to open up my eyes. Please believe me, I've been down this road and back again. Learned my lesson and it was that love is not my friend
1. Prologue and Begining of an Ending

**STOP FALLING**

A/N ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING FROM **PROLOGUE** WAS NOT WRITTEN FROM ME. I made adjustments as I saw fit. This prologue is from the song **"Stop Falling" By P!nk.,** Which **inspired the story** I'm going to write about **Optimus and Elita-one**. I was listening to this song and I was like "OMG! I want to write a story based on this song.

**So Rights go to P!nk (For Prologue) and Transformers. **

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**PROLOGUE:**

Elita-one POV (most written by P!nk)

I shook my head full of misery. I didn't know what I wanted or even how to get what I needed. He was here before me, but I had to tell him how I truly felt.

"Optimus, I'm not looking for a steady thing. I'm not looking for what love brings. I'm still young and I'm not ready. I'm still looking for some better days. I don't want to give you everything. I just want to make you feel things. If you ain't down to give me everything, just throw it away."

"Don't assume because I'm a femme that I'll fall in love. Don't expect I'm young and need to be took care of. Don't wanna hear you got what I need, because how would you know before we speak? You've got to understand my side…I've had a crazy, crazy life. Nobody came along to open up my eyes. You've got to take what you can get. Don't even bother with my spark, because I get a feeling I won't let it start."

"Please believe me, I've been down this road and back again. Learned my lesson and it was that love is not my friend. For the day I put my trust in you. Would be the day I say "I do". Don't expect me just to open up. Maybe I'm just a little scared. Please don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Oh baby save it, I've heard it all before. There ain't nothing you could say to make me change my ways."

"So stop falling  
You know you're falling...for me

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**Elita-one**

Alarm clock goes off. I get up. I get in wash racks. I wax. I drink my energon. I go to work. I train. I sweat. I train some more. I get tired. I train even more. I go to wash racks. Get a drink of energon. I go to office. Do daily data pads and analyze special tactic information. Go home. Eat dinner. Watch late movievids. Recharge. Then restart cycle.

This my life. The same thing repeating over, over, and over again. Lonely, alone I am. Bad memories haunt me every day. War rages in my life and I've been running since I can remember. But even though different things pop up every day. This schedule always sticks with me and it always seems the same.

I do not trust so I cannot love. I never open up. I see the world as people see me. Sick and disturbing. I fight a war with myself every day. I'm a hazard to myself. I swallow all my fears with strong drinks. I don't celebrate or party. I don't smile or laugh or grin. I avoid eye contact because if I don't it opens the door for conversation like I want that. Nobody knows me, I'm cold. I walk down this road all alone. It's no one's fault but my own. It's the life I've chosen. So I walk a lonely road. The only road I have ever known. It's not so bad, even though I'm breaking my own spark. I've been left behind. I've been rejected. I've been abandoned, forgotten, and left a little empty-handed. Distance is a good friend of mine. My only friend. Everybody has insanities. Mine are ones you wouldn't want to see. I'm hated, hunted and it's sad because it doesn't bother me. I'm hard and not easy to live with. My parents hated me. They never understood me. My mother was a lunatic and always pushed my buttons down. My father was a sinner. He murdered my soul. But when I needed them most they vanished.

I've promised myself that I would never fall for someone. I'm not afraid of my spark getting broken because how could it if it never was whole from the start. I've got a well full of emotions I feel I must protect. Maybe I'm a little scared. But I can't trust. Not after everything…..

Autobot Military Base *East Campus*

"Elita-one. There is break-out in corridor 139-Qw. I have reason to believe that one of your recruits is involved. I need your presence."

I waved away my assistant and shut the door. Sighing loudly I sat down at my desk and pressed the respond button.

"Prowl. I do not understand why I would need to travel all the way to West Campus just because of a fight. Can you just have someone escort him or her up to my office. I am very busy."

"I would but because he is not in any condition to be transported to the other building I think you should hurry. Optimus' orders." Click.

_I really hate that guy…_

Exasperated from just returning from an expedition off-world to destroy a diabolical threat, I nearly crawled over to the other campus. I was so pissy that I barged into the medical bay with a dangerous expression.

"Where is he?" I barked to the nurse at the front desk. She looked up startled but quickly put her hand up to her forehead in a respected salute.

"Commander. Um…_she_ has been transported to East Campus."

My noise flared as fire shot out my mouth and ears. The young nurse covered her mouth and ducked down scared. "WHAT?! I was told that I had to rush down here because my recruit wasn't in any condition to be transferred! What is the meaning of this?" I placed my hands on my hips.

"I-I don't know anything about t-that. I was just told to tell the Commander that she had been transported. And that she is in the ER."

Calming myself down I took a deep breath of air through my vents and out. Looking around I saw almost everybody staring at me. Most in awe-struck. Some in intimidation. Frustrated, I quickly dropped my gaze and walked out the door quietly, hoping that I wouldn't be approached by any bot.

I had it in for Prowl. I headed straight to his office. Why these people couldn't be organized was just disgusting to me.

Walking fast I opened Prowl's door without knocking. I was ready to start complaining before I saw Prowl's distraction.

Jazz sat on Prowls desk facing him while Prowl was standing sucking off each other's face. I gasped out loud and Prowl jumped, knocking Jazz off the desk by accident. As he helped him off the floor I circled over to the front of his desk.

"Lieutenant! What in the name of Cybertron are you doing? And Jazz! Shouldn't you be getting ready to depart for Velicitron? And Prowl this is very un-professional. You should get in a lot of trouble for this. What do you both have to say for yourselves?" Jazz awkwardly smiled but I could see the fear in his eyes. Prowl was extremely embarrassed and shocked.

"Yo C'Mander 'lita…um-uh I was just leaving. Yeah-uh-" Jazz awkwardly kissed Prowl on the cheek good-bye before he bolted through the door. I gave him a hard stare till he disappeared. Then I turned my attention to Prowl. He was rubbing his chin before he cleared his throat.

"Commander. Excuse me for my… uh-unbecoming engagement. It will not happen again."

"Please Prowl. Have a seat." He dropped to his seat and I leaned up against the side of his desk. "I just came back from a trip of traveling to West Campus to East Campus because I was told by you that my recruit was there because of a recent fight and she could not be transported because of her condition and so I had to hurry down there. Well guess what?"

Prowl raised his brow.

"The nurse at the front desk told me that she had been transported back to East Campus. Now Prowl if someone is playing games with me I sure as pit don't appreciate it and consequences will be presented."

He narrowed his brows confused. "But she was not transported to East. My report says.." he looked down at a data pad in front of him and read it as his eyes widened. "…Oh…"

"What does it say?" I leaned in frowning.

"That because of her condition she had to be transported to East Campus." Prowl grimaced as he scratched his head. "I don't understand how I could have missed that—"

I raised my brows as I put up a hand. "I know. It's because you were distracted by your partner and 2nd lieutenant."

His head hid behind his hand, shaking his head.

"I suggest you shouldn't distract yourself while you are on duty. I'm not trying to hurt you but if you misinterpret something, anything can go wrong and lives could be put in stake. Yours included. Do you understand me?" I walked to the door, my composure always professional.

"Forgive me Elita. I know better and I know you and Optimus expect nothing less than from his Lieutenant."

"Let's just put this little incident behind us, okay?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Oh and by the way. Don't forget the conference was switched an hour earlier. Optimus said he wanted to have some time to get to know the Femme Commander a little more. He said that for a Prime he knew little about his Femme Commander." Prowl stood offering a smile and a look.

"Oh don't give me that face. I know what you are thinking and it's a no." I shook my head, my hand opening the door.

I was halfway through before I heard prowl say, "Sometimes I think you would be nicer if you were in a relationship with someone. It would be good for you."

I spun around ready to lung back with a nasty comment about how he didn't know what if good for me and crack on him for calling me nasty, But as I stared at him I felt the truth sinking in and I turned and walked down the hallway.

Nicer? Nicer if I had somebody? Somebody like Prime? Is this what people thought of me? As the mean Commander?

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**A/N Thank you! Please R&R. I'm tired of all these people faving my stuff but never leaving a review! Next Chapter will be longer!**


	2. Tired

**This is for anybody who is just Tired. Tired of life. Tired Of pain. We spend our lives searching for a remedy.**

**Elita-one POV**

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Ultra Magnus was a dream. Distant. But I yearned for him ever since we were little, running down corridors chasing each other, playing hide and clap, crying on each other's shoulders, protecting each other from our abusive families, fighting for our lives, training with each other, and spending almost every waking moment together.

I smiled as I stood outside his door, surprising him on his sparkday with a gift and a confession. I took Prowl's comment to spark. Maybe if I was in a relationship I wouldn't feel so much pain, and maybe love was all I needed and there was no one I wanted in life than Magnus. I vented hard and anxiously; my hands shook uncontrollably as I felt faint. My mind was filled with possibilities. The future we could have, the time we can share while we are old, the love we could share, the family we could have.

My fist was stuck in mid-air as I hesitated to knock. I built up enough courage to land my fist on the door three times. I waited, shaking but excited to see his handsome face. I felt so in love with him and I couldn't imagine a life with no other. He was only one who could kill me and he was the only one who understands me.

He was the one unlocking the door, the one just as excited to see me on his birthday, he…he-he wasn't the one who answered the door.

A femme a head shorter than me with a blue and pink paint job, beautiful features and a plastered smile was facing me. The first thing I noticed wrong was that she was wearing less armor than she should and she had a blanket wrapped around her.

A hole pierced into my spark.

My smile faded and I dropped the gift I had on the floor. I felt my universe being ripped apart. Everything I had hoped for was fallen and burning, and all I felt like doing was collapsing in tears. I felt numb and broken. I felt weak.

"Commander? Ma'am! Oh…" The femme tried to cover herself up more with the blanket. "Ultra Magnus is in the wash racks…uh let me get him…"

I tried to put my hand up to stop her because all the words I wanted to say were stuck in my throat and I felt like collapsing. I gripped the wall and slide on my knees, shaking violently. Everything was starting to turn blurry. For what seemed like a second later I heard a far way voice filled with urgency and strong hands gripped my shoulders.

"Elita! Elita can you hear me? Call the med bay, Arcee! No—uh—Okay. Just do it. Elita?"

I was fading in my spark as I felt weak but strong. With my newfound pain I mustered up enough strength to stand and I looked into the optics of my spark-breaker. He gave me a quizzical look and I gave him the most agonized, hurt expression I could. He winced and stared at me open-mouthed. I knew he could see the tears running down my face. I let the moment sink in before I turned around and almost ran to the back exit. I ran through the back and into the fields of metals and headed on to the rusted lake.

I collapsed onto the ground of the place Magnus and I escaped to from our broken families to feel whole. And I did something I haven't since my mother tried to hurt me. I wept.

I cried for something I never even had…and never will.

_Love_.

* * *

**Third-person **

Back at the High Official Quarters, Ultra Magnus picked up the little wrapped gift that Elita-one dropped on the floor. With gentle strong digits he pulled back the wrap and peeked inside the box.

Inside was a necklace made out of the rust from the rusted lake. A treasure Magnus had made for Elita a very long time ago when Elita was in the hospital from almost being beaten to death by her drunken father. He had given it to her to show her though she was rusted she was still as beautiful as any necklace or lake can be.

"Magnus?" Arcee asked, arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

"It's nothing."

"But she gave you a necklace."

"It's unimportant; she's insignificant to our relationship…I—I promise."

Arcee was silent as she slowly released her arms from around him.

"You never loved her?"

Silence.

"Magnus?"

Pause. "I love you."

And that was all that needed to be said. Ultra Magnus and Arcee walked back into their quarters and shut the door.

My soul was bleeding. I was tired. Tired of the way he treated me. Tired of all the emotions I have. Tired of the guilty feelings. Tired of the broken dreams. Tired of going back and forth.

Tired of crying and smiling.

Tired of the haters, tired of the games, tired of taking it, tired of faking it.

Tired of letting go and holding on.

Tired of love. Tired of life.

I sulked on down the hallway, heading to the meeting with the Prime. I dragged my feet down the hallways, passing by stragglers who watched me pass by. Drones transporting cargo to storage all stopped to stare at me. Recruits leaving the gym all stopped to gaze at me. The injured from the med bay peeked out at me as I walked. Ratchet stared wide-eyed at my appearance.

Though I was so tired I kept moving forward. I moved closer to my destination, moving through different areas of expertise, different architectural rooms and statues.

The conference room doors stared me in the face before I walked through them. Everyone present who were either conversing with another or busy writing notes stopped to stare at me gaped and shocked. I knew they were seeing me hunched, color-drained, defeated, and tired. I tried to push myself to professionalism but I was tired of that too.

It was silent and awkward as I slowly made my way to the end of the conference table to sit in my seat. I heard someone cough and shuffle adding to the awkward atmosphere.

"Well, now we have everyone present." I heard a voice announce. I recognized it as Prowl. I immediately composed myself given all the attention I was receiving. I was just going to have to try to hide my pain like I always have done.

"Good. We have much to discuss."

My head popped up quickly to the optics of a gorgeous creature. Gentle and strong. Fire and Ice. Optimus Prime stepped to his seat all the way across from mine.

My breath caught in my vents…

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**This is for anybody who is just Tired and searching for a remedy. Life sometimes leaves us broken and the question is usually, Can we pick up all the little pieces?**

**We can. And there is always something good waiting for us at the end of our pain and we can either seek it out or wait for it to come.**


End file.
